OK, so here's even more drama to the story!
So, we first took her to the Kitty Klinic in Uptown, and after that, they referred us to the U. After all of the expenses there, the drs at the U told me the euthanasia would be much cheaper at the KK. So, I call them this morning to make the appt for this evening, and they are weird and tell me that they have to call me back to let me know if they can schedule that kind of appointment. Weird, right? So I wait like 3 hours for the vet to call, and when he does, he has all of these questions about her condition, etc. and tells me that he thinks it could be some larvae in her that can mimic this other thing. (!!!!) He says he thinks it's worth a shot at exploratory surgery to see what's up. I tell him that I'm not interested, don't want to prolong her suffering, and have exhausted all of our $$$ resources. THEN he says that he will waive the fee for the surgery. He says he gives it a 50/50 chance and will call a surgeon friend to do it. (WTF??!?) In disbelief, I agree, and he says he'll call me back to let me know when it can get done.
So, I am all skeptical and call her Dr. at the U, asking if this guy is nuts and delusional. That Dr. tells me she'll confer with some of her colleagues and get back to me AND that she'll call the KK doctor to talk to him, too. She then calls me back, says that it's worth a try, but to not get my hopes up. She thinks he's most likely wrong, but that it won't cause her any more distress.
So, tomorrow at 8:00 am, she's going to have the surgery. If she has this larvae thing (seriously, how gross!!), they will remove it and treat her. If she does not, then they will just give her more anesthesia to let her pass on.
Right now she's sleeping in the girls' closet. I just gave her some love and she was purring it up.
I don't even know what to think. He said he had a case like this a month ago, and they were able to save the cat. But the Dr. at the U was uber skeptical.
I'm not kidding myself, but hey, a miracle would be pretty dang cool right about now.
8.18.2009
dark day
I write this with such a heavy heart. Today is Gloria's last day with us. We went to the U again yesterday, and she had another ultrasound and they took a bunch of cell samples from her organs. She has massive masses all over. Looks like she has something called hyper eosinophilic syndrome. It is basically just like a cancer, but not a cancer, so treatment is not really an option. It's very rare, unknown what causes it, and is a rapid progression of a bunch of abnormal cells attacking her organs. They gave us some painkillers and sent us home, to allow her to spend her time in more comfort with us. She is not a happy kitty, basically terrified if I try to give her any meds (which she has no more tolerance for and just spits, claws me, etc.) and is just hiding under our bed. Last night she made two awful messes just outside of the litterbox on the floor. My arms, chest, and hands are covered in scratches.
Needless to say, I am a total mess--drank close to a whole bottle of wine by myself last night (I was not alone, Blake was just drinking beer) and will probably do the same tonight. I just called the Kitty Klinic to schedule the appointment, and am waiting for them to call me back. Blake and I will go in together, and my mom will watch the girls. After that, I want to take her up to my parent's house and lay her to rest with Sophie and all of the other pets who have passed.
I keep going up to visit her, but she doesn't really want any attention.
I'm just so sad right now... mostly that the girls won't even remember her. She's been a huge part of Cedar's life, since we got her only 2 months before she was born. And the sweet kitten is only 3 years old.
The only ONLY silver lining I can find is that I got these 3 great years with her, and that I'm so grateful my other girls are so healthy and happy.
Say a prayer if you have it in you.
Needless to say, I am a total mess--drank close to a whole bottle of wine by myself last night (I was not alone, Blake was just drinking beer) and will probably do the same tonight. I just called the Kitty Klinic to schedule the appointment, and am waiting for them to call me back. Blake and I will go in together, and my mom will watch the girls. After that, I want to take her up to my parent's house and lay her to rest with Sophie and all of the other pets who have passed.
I keep going up to visit her, but she doesn't really want any attention.
I'm just so sad right now... mostly that the girls won't even remember her. She's been a huge part of Cedar's life, since we got her only 2 months before she was born. And the sweet kitten is only 3 years old.
The only ONLY silver lining I can find is that I got these 3 great years with her, and that I'm so grateful my other girls are so healthy and happy.
Say a prayer if you have it in you.
8.14.2009
let's try this again
OK, here I am again, with a renewed commitment and energy toward this blog. We'll see how long it lasts this time! Here's a bit of some catching up:
So, since the last post, I was laid off, had a baby, and have been staying at home with my girls. Ivy was born Dec. 30th of last year ('08) pretty much according to plan. I had a few complications (mostly with my incision, since it was a scheduled c-section) but she came out ready for the boobs and stole our hearts immediately. It was a big, huge, monumental adjustment going from a family of 3 to a family of 4. Way bigger than I had ever dreamed. It's still tough, but now feels normal. It's just such a strange thing to say to your first born, "Look what's coming home with us to change EVERYTHING."
After Cedar was born, I suffered from some post-partum depression, but didn't know it at the time. It happened again, and since I knew it might be coming, was a lot more prepared and willing to ask for help (ie DRUGS) this time. I've been on several meds, starting with Lexapro, then Prozac, Wellbutrin, and now Prestiq. The crazy (pun intended) thing about anti-depressants is how you have to play around with them to see what works for you. I thought the Prozac/Wellbutrin cocktail was fabulous for a few weeks, but then noticed all of these wacko side effects (I had 21 bruises on my right leg alone, had ringing in my ears, blurred vision, aching joints, HOT FLASHES--I am SOOOOOO not excited for menopause, etc.) so switched it up again. I've been on the Prestiq now going on 3 weeks, and it seems pretty good so far. I may talk to the doc about upping the dosage... still giving it a whirl.
What else? Oh, the lay off. The glorious lay off! OK, no, it is never fun to be laid off, but the timing could not have been better. Truth be told, I was really unhappy there, and wasn't sure what I was going to do after my maternity leave ANYHOW. So, when I was told they were eliminating my position, I was bizarrely thrilled. I was able to still get my paid maternity leave (through short-term disability, which I paid for) and then collect unemployment when that ran out. So, that's where I'm at. It's a bit scary, I won't lie, but I am just so thankful to be able to be at home with my girls AND to be getting a paycheck. I never thought I would be able to do this, and it's been pretty great. That said, it DID suck to be the first person ever laid off from Summit, but I am keeping in touch with the people who mattered to me there.
In other news, my kitty Gloria is pretty dang sick. I'm having to syringe feed her, as well as give her a lot of different meds each day. It's not good. It's taking its toll on all of us (emotionally AND financially). Trying to keep positive and think good thoughts.
Randomness--Cedar's favorite snack of the last few days is red kidney beans out of the can. Recipe: open can, rinse beans, put in bowl. DO NOT HEAT, UNDER PENALTY OF CEDAR. She'll eat them cold, but prefers them room temp. She also really likes plain, cold white rice.
I never knew I'd be raising a kid who likes prison food.
And Ivy will NOT eat mush!
So, since the last post, I was laid off, had a baby, and have been staying at home with my girls. Ivy was born Dec. 30th of last year ('08) pretty much according to plan. I had a few complications (mostly with my incision, since it was a scheduled c-section) but she came out ready for the boobs and stole our hearts immediately. It was a big, huge, monumental adjustment going from a family of 3 to a family of 4. Way bigger than I had ever dreamed. It's still tough, but now feels normal. It's just such a strange thing to say to your first born, "Look what's coming home with us to change EVERYTHING."
After Cedar was born, I suffered from some post-partum depression, but didn't know it at the time. It happened again, and since I knew it might be coming, was a lot more prepared and willing to ask for help (ie DRUGS) this time. I've been on several meds, starting with Lexapro, then Prozac, Wellbutrin, and now Prestiq. The crazy (pun intended) thing about anti-depressants is how you have to play around with them to see what works for you. I thought the Prozac/Wellbutrin cocktail was fabulous for a few weeks, but then noticed all of these wacko side effects (I had 21 bruises on my right leg alone, had ringing in my ears, blurred vision, aching joints, HOT FLASHES--I am SOOOOOO not excited for menopause, etc.) so switched it up again. I've been on the Prestiq now going on 3 weeks, and it seems pretty good so far. I may talk to the doc about upping the dosage... still giving it a whirl.
What else? Oh, the lay off. The glorious lay off! OK, no, it is never fun to be laid off, but the timing could not have been better. Truth be told, I was really unhappy there, and wasn't sure what I was going to do after my maternity leave ANYHOW. So, when I was told they were eliminating my position, I was bizarrely thrilled. I was able to still get my paid maternity leave (through short-term disability, which I paid for) and then collect unemployment when that ran out. So, that's where I'm at. It's a bit scary, I won't lie, but I am just so thankful to be able to be at home with my girls AND to be getting a paycheck. I never thought I would be able to do this, and it's been pretty great. That said, it DID suck to be the first person ever laid off from Summit, but I am keeping in touch with the people who mattered to me there.
In other news, my kitty Gloria is pretty dang sick. I'm having to syringe feed her, as well as give her a lot of different meds each day. It's not good. It's taking its toll on all of us (emotionally AND financially). Trying to keep positive and think good thoughts.
Randomness--Cedar's favorite snack of the last few days is red kidney beans out of the can. Recipe: open can, rinse beans, put in bowl. DO NOT HEAT, UNDER PENALTY OF CEDAR. She'll eat them cold, but prefers them room temp. She also really likes plain, cold white rice.
I never knew I'd be raising a kid who likes prison food.
And Ivy will NOT eat mush!
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